Sayings, Riddles & Jokes

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Words of Wisdom

Don’t do something

permanently Stupid

Because you are

temporarily upset

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Keep your words soft and sweet.

You never know when you might have to eat them!

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Do you know why you shouldn’t tell dirty stories in the garden?

answer: The corn has ears, The potatoes have eyes and the beans stalk!

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If this doesn't make you smile, your 'smiler' must be broken. Some old, some new.

May your days on earth be many, may your life be free from strife

every day of your life.

BEST WISHES!!!

Subject: OLD CALENDAR - PRICELESS!!!!

A Creative Calendar from a Retirement Home. What a fantastic idea! I'll just bet they had a ball.

A German Retirement Community did a calendar where seniors amazingly recreated famous movie scenes.

The Contilia Retirement Group in Essen, Germany, made what is probably the best calendar ever with a few of their seniors.

According to German press, 5000 calendars were printed. And they were given out to residents of the Senior Centre, along with relatives and staff.

The calendar models were interviewed about the project and said it was a ton of fun to dress up as their favourite actors.

The shoot was done with professional stylists and photographers to make sure everything looked as cool as possible.

The oldest senior involved with the calendar was 98 years!

JANUARY

James Bond

Wilhelm Buiting, 89

FEBRUARY

Breakfast at Tiffany's
Marianne Brunsbach, 86

MARCH

Titanic
Erna Rütt, 86, and Alfred Kelbch, 81

APRIL

Rocky
Erwin J von der Heiden, 80

MAY

Mary Poppins
Erna Schenk, 78

JUNE

The Seven Year Itch
Ingeborg Giolbass, 84, and Erich Endlein, 88

JULY

Blues Brothers
Lothar Wischnewski, 76 and Margarete Schmidt, 77

AUGUST

Cabaret
Martha Bajohr, 77

SEPTEMBER

Giant
Joanna Trachenberg, 81 and Horst Krischat, 78

OCTOBER

Saturday Night Fever
Irmgard Alt, 79 and Siegfried Gallasch, 87

NOVEMBER

Dirty Dancing
Johann Liedtke, 92 and Marianne Pape, 79

DECEMBER

Easy Rider
Walter Loeser, 98 and Kurt Neuhaus, 90

'Growing old' is Mandatory,

'Growing up' is Optional!!

AND AS THEY SAY IN THE CLASSICS ...

If you haven't grown up by the time you are FIFTY

Well then you don't have to!!!!

"Good friends are like quilts-they age with you, yet never lose their warmth."

Click baby quilt for a closer

I am forwarding this to those on my Senior 's email list because it is so well written. Please send back. (I did) It's neat. Don't delete this one, you'll laugh when you see the return message.I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

the freakin' old people?

Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s, 60s & 70s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

old people dancing

I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to,despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

In White, 2008 Fat Czech on beach (short

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, eventually, I remember the important things.

Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

you mend a broken heart?

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

of man proposing to woman

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

You care less about what other

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

People Eating Ice Cream.

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!

OldFriends - 3

A NUN AND SOME WARM MILK

In a convent in Ireland, the 99-year-old Mother Superior lay quietly. She was dying.
The Nuns had gathered around her bed, laying garlands around her and trying
to make her last journey comfortable. They wanted to give her warm milk to drink
but she declined. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then,
remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous
Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, they lifted her head gently and held the glass to her
lips. The very frail Nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she
had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader..

"Mother," the nuns asked earnestly, "Please give us some of your wisdom
before you leave us"

She raised herself up very slowly in the bed on one elbow, looked at them and
said: "

"DON'T SELL THAT COW."

A smile - is a sign of joy. A hug - is a sign of love. A laugh - is a sign of happiness. And a friend like you? - Well that's just a sign of good taste!!

???He who angers you conquers you.??? ??? Elizabeth Kenny

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and
after a while they got to know each other so
well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom,
the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her
white dress. The groom broom was handsome
and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was
lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the
bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom,
'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'

'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.

Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt! !! !! !

'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!'

Oh for goodness sake... Laugh, or at least groan.
Life's too short not to enjoy... Even these silly
....little cute............. And clean jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sounds to me like she's ....... !
......been ....sweeping around!!!